ALLE keiharde opmerkingen van Ricky Gervais tijdens de Golden Globes op een rij

Niemand in Hollywood was veilig gisteravond...

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Want grappenmaker Ricky Gervais presenteerde de Golden Globes weer, en daarmee konden de celebrities zich weer opmaken voor snoeiharde opmerkingen en beledigingen. Vooral Ben Affleck moest het ontgelden.

Toen Ricky Matt Damon als presentator het podium opriep, zei-ie over zijn beste vriend:

'He’s also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to. Please welcome, Matt Damon.' Uiteraard kreeg Matt Damon meteen rode koontjes (en let ook even op Gervais' briljante reactie op het feit dat Damons film The Martian in de categorie 'comedy' zat...):

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Afijn, Ricky was weer op dreef dus. Bekijk hieronder nog wat keiharde momenten en zie de video van zijn volledige openingsmonoloog onderaan de pagina:

Zo begroette Ricky het beroemde publiek:

'You disgusting, pill-popping, sexual-deviant scum. I want to do this monologue and go into hiding, okay? Not even Sean Penn will find me. Snitch.'

Over celebrities die bang zijn voor 'm:

'One Hollywood publication said that me hosting would mean that some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of. As if film stars would stay away from the chance of winning a Golden Globe! Particularly if their film company has already paid for it.'

Over de film Spotlight:

'The Catholic Church are furious about the film, as it exposes the fact that five percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.'

Over Jeffrey Tambors rol in Transparent:

'What a role… he has to put on all that women's clothes and the hair and makeup and let people film it. That takes balls. So, I don't know how he does it. I really don't. I've seen his balls. They are huge and long. I don't know if he tucked them in the bra or does that thing when you push them out the back and let them hang out, like a bulldog? No one knows.'

Over de wage gap essay van Jennifer Lawrence:

'Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood and she received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, ‘how the hell can a 25-year-old live on 52 million?' There were plumbers around the world going, ‘poor girl, wrecking hell!'

Nog meer over het feit dat vrouwen hetzelfde salaris moeten hebben:

'Of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job and I‘d like to say now that I'm getting paid exactly the same as Tina and Amy did last year for hosting this. No, I know there was two of them, but it's not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That's their stupid fault. It's funny 'cause it's true.'

Over de film The Martian:

'The Hollywood Foreign Press deemed The Martian a comedy and even nominated it. Hence, Matt Damon is here tonight. So, that worked a treat, isn't it? To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels, but then again, so was Schindler's List.'

Over de aanstaande all-female reboots:

'All-female remakes are the big thing. There's a female remake of Ghostbusters, there's going to be a female remake of Oceans 11. And this is brilliant for the studios. They get guaranteed box office results and they don't have to spend too much money on the cast.'

Over de Golden Globe award:

'That award is, no offense, worthless. It's a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, OK? That's all it is. I've got three. One's a door stop. One I use to hit burglars with. And one I keep by the bed 'cause…doesn't matter why. It's mine. I won it fair and square. It is just the right shape and size. So, to be clear, that was a joke about me shoving Golden Globes, that I've won, up my ass. And they asked me to host four times!'

En zijn laatste woord, waarmee de awardshow van start ging:

'On a serious note, the Golden Globes are about excellence. To win one, you have to do something amazing. Neither of our first two presenters have won a Golden Globe. I don't know what they are doing here really. But I don't choose the guests. Please welcome the fantastic Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill.'

Bekijk de video van Ricky Gervais tijdens de Golden Globes hieronder: